Steamed hams but it's a Gay fan fiction
by JustSagan
Summary: What happens when Skinners favorite Tsundere comes over to his? Well you gotta read to find out!


Superintendent Chalmers walked up to Principal Skinners house, holding his favorite brand of Barbra Streisand Wine. It took him awhile to get to Skinners house, but the thought of getting some nice hard cock was able to see him through.

He rang the doorbell, while making sure his face retained its serious tone. Chalmers knew that Skinner was a sub that loved serious guys.

When Skinner heard the doorbell ring, he instantly ran to the door. When he opened it, he was greeted with his very sexy Superintendent.

Skinner couldn't help but stare and marvel at his Superintendent. Chalmers was wearing a tight hot pink tank top, with some blue short shorts. Finally, his serious face, and bald head were the perfect combination of sexy.

However, as Skinner was staring at him, Chalmers decided to speak.

" _Well Seymour, I made it. Despite your directions._ "

This snapped Skinner out of his trance.

" _Ah Superintendent Chalmers welcome! I hope your ready for an unforgettable fuckin._ "

The two started to walk towards the table. While they were, Chalmers started to stare at Skinner from behind. Skinner was wearing a cooking apron, and nothing else, so he was able to get a good view of Skinners nice ass.

But as he was looking, Skinner walked into the kitchen. So Chalmers decided to sit down, and put his wine in the ice bucket.

In the kitchen, things were not going well for Skinner.

"O _h egods! My Assblaster 9000 is ruined!_ "

Skinner had been working on a hand made Assblaster 9000 dildo. Unfortunately, he had left it on his hot stove, and it was now burning. Skinner wasn't sure what to do, until he looked out his window, and saw a Krusty Dildos shop.

" _But what if… I were to purchase a Assdestroyer 9000, and pretend that it's my Assblaster 9000? Ho ho ho ho ho, delightfully devilish Seymour!_ "

Skinner then took off his apron, put some short shorts on, and was about to hop out of the window. However, Chalmers walked in to see him with one leg outside of the window.

" _Uh…_ " Chalmers said, not sure what to make of the situation.

(Skinner! With his hot ass body! Superintendents gonna need to cure his blue balls! When you see Skinners NIIICE tight ass, there'll be butt sex in town tonight!)

" _Seeeymoooour!_ " Chalmers yelled.

" _Superintendent! I was just, uh… Stretching my anus on the windowsill. Loosening exercise! Care to join me?_ "

That wasn't what Chalmers was focused on. Even though he did like seeing Skinners sexy body.

" _Why is there smoke coming off that dildo?_ "

" _Uh um oh! That's not smoke, that's sex oil steam! Its infused into the dildo to make it into a Assblaster 9000! Mmmmhhh, sex oil!_ "

Chalmers decided to believe this, and stepped out of the kitchen. With him gone, Skinner hopped out the window, and ran to the Krusty Dildos.

He quickly came back with a dildo that was almost like his, and went back to Chalmers.

" _Superintendent I hope you are ready for the mouth watering Assdestroyer 9000._ "

"I _thought it was the Assblaster 9000._ "

Skinner had to think of a way to change the subject.

" _Oh no, I must have said the wrong name. Anyway, wanna try it out on my steamed hams?_ " Skinner suggested, as he pulled his short shorts down.

Chalmers agreed, and grabbed the dildo. However, as he grabbed it, he noticed something about it.

" _You know this Assdestroyer 9000 is similar to the one they have at Krusty Dildos._ "

" _Oh ho ho no! Patented Skinner dildo! Old family product!_ "

" _...for an Assdestroyer 9000?_ "

" _Yes!_ "

Skinner was beginning to worry that Chalmers was catching on to him.

" _Yes, so you call it your Assdestroyer 9000, eventhough it has a Krusty Dildos logo on it?_ "

" _Uh well I uh, will you excuse me for a moment?_ "

Skinner then quickly walked into his kitchen (which was on fire now), and then walked back out.

" _Well I think it's time for us to have some sex._ "

" _Ya, I think your- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?_ " Chalmers yelled, while pointing at the burning kitchen.

" _Barbra Streisand concert._ " Skinner quickly replied.

" _Uh… A Barbra Streisand concert? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of town? Localized in your kitchen?_ "

Skinner looked down for a moment before responding.

" _...Yes._ "

" _...May I see it?_ " Chalmers asked.

" _...No._ "

The two of them then proceeded to have hardcore gay sex. This of course included Skinners steamed hams. But unfortunately for them, Chalmers had to leave for a meeting. So they stepped outside to have one last talk, all while Skinners house burned.

" _Seymour! The house is on fire! And I slipped on some cum!"_ Skinners mother yelled.

" _No mother it's just the Northern Lights._ " Skinner replied, calmly.

" _Well Seymour you are an odd fellow, but I must say, you make a good dildo._ "

Chalmers then started walking back to his car, but stopped to look back when he heard Skinners mother crying for help. Skinner simply smiled, and gave him the thumbs up. As soon as Chalmers left, Skinner ran inside his house to help his mom.


End file.
